In "Let them eat fat", Critser explains that fast food and National restaurant chains, alone with their sales innovations have being pointed by Nutritionists and Dietitians as responsible for the very unbalanced nutrition of the population especially; teenagers, young people and actually working people from the inner-city, all over the country.
The most interesting idea in this article is that we can not deny there is a linkage between "fast food Industry success and the profitability over the poor people and their necessities; because of their lack of resources or ignorance.
Once again to be part of a very low income Society should be making us an easy prey for all of this wrongly named Restaurants who does not care about nutrition, or well developed generations not even care for the increasing diabetic population due in a big part to their fast and dangerous but attractive food.
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7 years ago
Hi, my name is Leena in tutoring writing class and am also a tutor at the writing center of the LaGuardia Community College. I would like to give you some of my thoughts about your essay and hope it helps you make it a stronger piece of work!
ReplyDeleteI like the way you started your essay with a summary of the article. You also well summarized the article, and it shows your comprehension of the reading.
In the second paragraph, I agree with your choice of the most interesting idea of the article; however, I suggest that you explain a little more about what makes this is the most important idea to the author. For example, you said, "The most interesting idea in this article is that we can not deny there is a linkage between 'fast food Industry success and the profitability over the poor people and their necessities'; because of their lack of resources or ignorance." This is not enough to be a paragraph. You have to specify what made you think this is the most important idea to the author.
I also recommend that you follow the instructions of the writing. In your essay you forgot to support your ideas with evidence. Also remember writing your personal experience or own knowledge can always be a good way to support your ideas as long as the instruction allows it.
Overall, even if your ideas are good, your essay needs a bit more of development. All the paragraphs are too short and needs to be well connected with one another. Please make sure to proofread before finishing the essay.
Good Luck! : )
p.s.- you must give author's full name if is told for the first time.
i.e.)
In "Let them eat fat", Critser explains (X)
In "Let Them Eat Fat", Greg Critser explains (O)